1. Here's what qualifies a room as "deluxe": The mini-bar. Stocked with two Cokes, one Fanta, and two small waters. You will promptly drink the two waters. The next day you will learn: The mini-bar is not restocked daily. Although you are paying the deluxe price every night.
2. It is located on Las Ramblas. Your tourbook will gush about Las Ramblas. Do NOT be fooled. Globalization has taken a stroll down the famous boulevard. The footprint it left behind is...big. Right across from your hotel, you will find a McDonalds. And a KFC.
2. During breakfast, served on the first floor, you will be privy to the drills and hammers of the construction crew. The Wurst is fatty. The waiter testy. By 11 a.m. a toxic scent seeps into the room.
3. You room will face Las Ramblas. This, one assumes, is the desired location. On the second night, a cadre of middle-aged tourists will sway in the cafe directly outside your window, hollering drinking songs into the night. The next day you will ask be moved to the back. This room, cramped enough to register as claustrophobic. A window onto a wall. You will be awakened Monday morning by the hammers and drills of the hotel workman.
4. It is especially problematic if you arrive at the Hotel Oriente with...romantic expectations. The room is small and tight. The decor is charmless. The double-bed is two single beds on wheels. They are jammed together and prone, under the weight of two bodies, to promptly roll apart. Which makes things...difficult.
'Nuff said.
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