He was breathing through the keyhole

He was knocking his brass-knuckled knock.

"Lilan," he called. "Yoo-hoo!"

I ignored him.

When I went out, I saw his footprint on the welcome mat.

He must have lost patience. As men so often do. Yesterday he busted down the door. A single well-aimed kick.

We danced a round in the living room, me and Herr Epstein Barr.

Now I lie flat.

Years ago I invited him in. Years ago, I thought: A man's touch, mere titillation. I did not understand: A single well-aimed kiss, treachery. Years ago, my heart, whole, unjaded. This body still my own.

Now I see. He will come. He will go. He will take you. He will break you. And there is no fighting.

Comments

[Jane Lew]

My friend, your post albeit lyrical saddens me so- hang in there, missing you AGAIN and already.
xo Jane

[Josee]

wow, how can you write so beautifully about stuff that sucks so big time - you are awesome!!

I booked my flight to Berlin, will be there Sept 11 - 15, definitely hope to see you!
Hang in there and take care :-)

[Lilan]

Thanks, Jane. It is such a bummer, this ongoing battle. But how are you? So was good to see you in New York! How's the power cord?
xoxo
L

[Lilan]

It's always the SHIT that proves the best muse. Somehow. But hurrah, I will be seeing you soon, and I will still be living across from the synagogue! I will take you round my Kiez! If Herr Barr doesn't come a-knocking, that is. L

[kp]

like i just said...XXOO